just saw sinners and i can safely say that michael b jordan looked so slutty in his bloody tank top emptying entire gun clips into kkk members. immediate 10/10
actually you know what that’s exactly it i would rather someone add 5 parantheticals after every sentence than use tone indicators it’s 1. accomplishing SO much more in terms of clarity 2. extremely funny to look at depending on how they’re used
observe:
“is this real? /gen” — i thought /gen meant “general” for ages. i would not be able to understand this on first sight a few years ago and is thus ineffective
“is this real? (genuine question)” — i fully understand this without issue
“is this real? (genuine question) (can’t tell) (very realistic) (looks real) (scary) (photoshop?)” — is not only incredibly clear it’s also very funny to read all of these thoughts stapled together while also in their own parentheses. it’s also the most useful because now i can actually address all parts of what they are asking me with as much specificity as BOTH of us need
i need the whole scene where ariel teaches eric her name using the stars tattooed on my brain. like i need it on a constant loop forever bc oh my god it’s the best scene ever.
the whole kiss the girl/lagoon scene is a masterpiece in of itself that i can watch a million times without ever getting tired of bc these nerds are so in love with each other the entire time and the tension is unreal
My friend’s kid gave me pinkeye and I have been on a particularly fuckt up sleep schedule about it and dreamed an entire Italian Opera on the themes of heaven and hell and the power of love and recognition of the self in other and the tragedy of loving the idea of something rather than the thing itself and the dream ended with the phrase “-And then it was banned EVERYWHERE.”
The plot starts off with a hybrid of Cinderella and the Taming Of The Shrew where a woman with her own daughter marries a Duke who has an older daughter, and then the Duke dies under “Mysterious circumstances”.
But he leaves in his will that his fortune won’t be disbursed until his daughter (the elder one) marries.
The elder daughter (like, 20ish?) is refusing to get married because her step-mother is trying to set her step-sister (age 12) with IDK A Medieval Italian supreme court judge?? (Age 65) , but the marriage can’t go through until the Duke’s fortune disburses and the mother can pay the dowry.
Other thing about the Eldest Daughter: She Always Speaks The Truth. Not only does she refuse to lie, but kind of like a retroactive Cassandra, everything she says is True. As you can imagine, this is not terribly popular In Fantasy Medieval Italian High Society.
The mother, big mad about being stuck with this stubborn, awkward girl, gets a Lawyer and a Bishop and a bunch of other authority figures to modify the will so that “Should the plague take my eldest, we will not be bereft *wink*” AKA if the eldest just dies or disappears without getting married, the mother will get the money anyway. (They all know she’s going to kill the girl, but they’re getting a cut.) The Step-Mother then, in true operatic fashion of Going Way Too Hard tortures the Elder daughter, and locks her in the basement to bleed out and die.
There, in the darkness, abandoned by God and the Law and Family etc. the daughter turns to the last thing she has left.
BLACK MAGIC
(Come on, it’s Opera. Everybody knows Black Magic)
The nurse kicking out the violinist. “Hey! I was listening to that”
Anachronisms that don’t feel out of place and are actually funny
Paris! YAHHSSS
“Why don’t you and your, uh, boy band meet us there?”
Romeo’s “engraving” skills
Tybalt isn’t a scary tough guy but a sniveling jerk?
Steve the Courier!
“why haven’t I heard from him?” “Well, there is a lot of plague going around.” “You think he has plague?” “He did look a bit boily. But it’s probably just hormones.”
“I’m a bloody registered nurse!” “I thought that was your name.” “My name is Janet!”
The entire end-credits scene. “I’m lactose intolerant”
